I was a Single Mom once...

I was a single mom for quite a few years before I married my wonderful husband. It was me and my daughter for a long time and I understand completely, from my own experience, how difficult it can be to be a single parent. However, there are a few things that I have seen other single mom's do that I don't understand...

When I was a single Mom, I busted my ass working 2 and 3 jobs most of the time. I did what I had to do, as most of us parents do, wether you're single or not. This is just something we do, especially if you choose to have a child...right? I didn't live with my parents my entire life and expect to be taken care of by them or by Welfare.

When I was a single mother, and even now, I never kept my daughter from her father. Oh, of course he and I had some disagreements from time to time, even over finances, as most parents do when they are not together. However, I knew that my daughters' relationship with her father was very important and should be kept seperate from our financial discussons. One has nothing to do with the other. I am so glad I did that, too, because, unlike some parents, I know I will never have to answer to my daughter for keeping her away from her father. No, their relationship isn't perfect, but I let them figure it out; and anyway, who has a perfect relationship with any parent when they are a teenager? LOL..

See, I don't believe in keeping a child from their other parent, unless that parent has caused physical harm to the child, especially if you're only doing it out of spite. I have seen women do this for different reasons.."Oh, he won't be with me so I'm not letting him have anything to do with the child..."  Sound familiar? Guess what? If you do this, YOU will be the one answering to your child when it is all said and done. When you lie to the child about the other parent to cover your own ass...Eventually, when the child is older, that child will learn the truth and figure it all out. Once that happens, it's too late to try and fix the situation. The damage is already done and YOU are the one who caused the damage, so you will have no one to blame but yourself. Good luck talking your way out of that one! By the way, when you keep your child from the father or the mother, you are not only keeping them from the other parent, but another entire family such as the childs' grandparents, aunts, uncles and sometimes even siblings. So, your spitefullness starts hurting a lot more people than it's original target. 

Another good one are the women who don't name the father on the birth certificate....really, come on already people! Do you really not know who the father is?? If you don't know, then you have a bigger problem than I thought...Every child deserves to know where he or she comes from. They have a right to know their entire family and to make their own choices as they get older as to wether or not they wish to be a part of that family. What if there was a genetic disorder or something else that you needed family medical history on or something? (No, this is not so far fetched, either. I have several friends who have had to deal with genetic disorders and family medical histories with their children..) What if the child ended up needing a transplant or something and the best match was a blood relative? Most important, what about the time you are taking away not only from the other parent, but that child as well, which they can never get back? Again, a lot you'll have to answer for....especially if that other parent tried repeatedly to do their part and you denied he or she that right.

Now, don't get me wrong...I have some friends that have dealt with true "dead beat dads" and I know your situations and I sympathize with you and you all know who you are. You are great Mom's who handle it all as you should and you know I agree with the way you handle you're individual situations. Please know that none of this is directed at you personally...I am speaking of the handful of single mothers out there who have not handled it the way they should of. And the ones who lie to their family and friends so that they look like the victims...this is a big difference from an actual dead beat dad.

So remember if you find yourself becoming a single parent....your child has an entire family that he or she has a right to know and that other family has the right to know the child....if you choose to live your life on Welfare, don't go looking for someone else to pay it all back when the state wants their money back...don't lie and play the victim when you did it to yourself ...... and more important than anything is that you can't give that child or anyone else all that time back you took from them out of spite...all the times he or she missed out on wether it be regular time, holidays or anything; because you wanted to be vengeful ....

If you have a child, act like an adult already....don't act like a spoiled princess who didn't get her way....

That's all for now....

Peace, Hope, Faith and Love

Time For Something New

I have decided to start a blog, for the main reason of having a place to "vent" my feelings and opinions.... My reasons, though they may seem futile to some, are important to me. 

Ask yourself, how many times do we go through our busy lives, and when we see something we have an opinion on, or we feel like speaking up, we don't do it? We think to ourselves "It won't matter what I say", or "I'm too busy to bother with this" . We are all guilty of this at some point. However; I believe it's time for that to change. I believe it's time for everyday people to start speaking up, having their opinions known and not be afraid of sharing their thoughts...no matter how politically uncorrect others may think they may be. There is no such thing as a stupid opinion, or a stupid question. You have every right to voice your opinions in this country...or have they taken that right away, as well? It's so hard to keep track of lately....LOL...

For example..have you watched the "Reality" tv shows lately? As funny as it can be to watch shows like "The Real Housewives of... whatever damn town the rich people live in"......is it really depicting the real world these days? Um....not the last time I checked it doesn't. In the real world...you have men and women struggling to make ends meet...families with children losing their homes, families with no food on the table and trying to pay the bills. In the real world, men and women are living paycheck to paycheck, having to cut expenses and trying to find jobs. THIS is the real world. Not the rich, spoiled snobs you see on the "Real Housewives" shows, where they act like spoiled little brats and think their shit don't stink. 

When these people on these shows are spending $60,000 on a childs birthday party, the rest of the parents in this country are trying to figure out how they are going to pay for school clothes, and you have families who can't even afford a birthday cake for their children. When these people on the shows are out throwing lavish dinner parties and and flying around the country, the rest of the people in this country are trying to figure out how to put dinner on the table for their families and how their going to pay for the gas to get to work.   

Why don't they do a reality series about real families and real people? Are they too embarrassed to show what families are really going through in this country? 

Well, this is only the start of my blog, so I will leave you all with this to ponder for the evening. There will be more to come, though. I will try to blog every evening and if not, then several times a week. I plan on having a variety of different blogs on here, too. Not just venting about things such as I did this evening, but about life in general....so enjoy! 

Feel free to leave your thoughts, opinions and comments. Remember, everyone's opinions count....don't be shy.

By the way...I'm just getting started.....

Have a great night!